Wednesday, 15 May 2013

Movie Posters

Five Reasons Why You're Single

"You can't get into a relationship," she said.
"Why?" he asked.
"Because you're my single friend, ever since I've known you you've been single and that can't change," she said.
"Oh," he said. 

1. You're socially awkward. You make Nazis jokes and find out your boss is German. You're the person that when you bump into someone in the street you always try and avoid them. You ask inappropriate questions and say inappropriate things. You're socially awkward.

2. You drink too much wine. When you go to the party you're the person that gets absolutely shit-faced and says things that you shouldn't. You're the person that wants Tequila when everyone has work at 8am the next morning. Nobody wants to take you home because nobody wants to take home somebody that can't walk...unless you want to date a pervert, in that case, you're in!

3. You've gotten to used to sleeping in the middle of the bed. When your one night stand turns into a snuggler you just want him out. You're used to spreading yourself out - doing the butterfly - but now he's clutching you, invading your side of the bed and snoring in your ear. Not cool man, not cool. 

4. You're terrified of commitment. You do what something but you're terrified. You exist much like a horse not being able to jump. You're in the race, you're running, but you're not jumping. You need to jump. Jump, Seabiscuit! 

5. You have a common misconception of what love is. You felt love before and now you think every love has to be that. You've already got your canvas, you've started the painting, you're not ready to start again, you want someone to come and join in but they won't, you have to start again. That's the point. 

(Note: There are no real reasons for why we're single, we just are, it happens, it's life. List is supposed to be the reflections - attempted comic reflections - but not accurate. You go Glen Coco! You rock the dating game!)

Minding The Gap

I was on the tube this morning, looking through crusty eyes and yawning to myself, trying to blend in with the other robots that glare at the newspapers. There I was with my battered copy of Jane Eyre, reading about the so called 'gypsy' describing Jane to herself. But then my mind wandered - as my mind usually does - and I looked up. I accidentally caught the eye of an unattractive twenty-something guy and looked away. I accidentally looked back and saw him, staring - he obviously thought I meant more than my clumsy intention so I looked away. I kept unintentionally looking back - checking where my stop was on the map, trying to make out what the person besides me was reading - and still he looked. I awkwardly departed. 

I looked over and saw a girl who was smirking, she was looking at someone. I followed her gaze and noticed she was looking at a man who was smirking back. A few coy glances down to the ground and then back up again. Oi Oi!

The two encounters on the tube got me thinking of romance. People long for romance, they dream about it, they soak up media that shows us every kind of romance. Strangers on a train turned lovers - what could be more romantic? A book that slips off your lap and then a handsome stranger picks it up? These cliches, for want of a better word, have become cliches because we have seen them so many times and want to see them in our lives. 

Just a little thought about romance. My mind, however, was mainly consumed with Jane Eyre and how fucked up that book actually is. 

This Image...

...Is terrifying. Snape should not be allowed near children. He may have been a teacher at Hogwarts...but he never got that close and they weren't so small.